The most effective leaders are not those with the most power over outcomes. They are those who are clear on where their power truly lies.
As a leader, sometimes you do everything “right” and things still don’t go as you hoped.
A project stalls because of a decision made above you. A talented team member leaves for reasons you couldn’t fix. The market shifts. A restructuring arrives without warning.
When these situations happen, we often see leaders react in one of two ways:
- They start micromanaging everything in hopes of having a better handle on the results. The problem with this approach is that it can undermine the autonomy that drives great performance.
- They begin to feel powerless, adopting a “that’s just how it is here” mentality. By doing this, they abdicate their sphere of influence. They stop investing in the conversations, the culture-building, and the individual development that would actually move the needle.
There is a third and more effective way of responding to uncertain and unpredictable situations.
You simply ask yourself: What is within my control, and what is not?
Then, you direct your energy where it can actually make a difference.
| WITHIN YOUR CONTROL | BEYOND YOUR CONTROL |
| Your mindset and emotional response | Organizational strategy and restructures |
| How you communicate with your team | Other people’s choices and attitudes |
| The standards and culture you model | Market conditions and external pressures |
| How you prioritize and allocate your time | Decisions made by senior leadership |
| The quality and consistency of your support | How your team receives your support |
| How you prepare and develop your people | Timing of promotions or opportunities |
| Your own commitment and follow-through | What happened before you arrived |
| The questions you ask and decisions you make | Individual performance ceilings |
What Happens When You Let Go of What You Can’t Control
1. You become more present and less reactive.
When you’re not trying to manage the unmanageable, you have more capacity to be present with your team. You listen better. You free up energy and space to show up fully for what can be changed.
2. You build trust through honesty.
Being honest about what you can’t control builds trust faster than false certainty. If a team member asks about a decision made above you, you don’t deflect or pretend. You say, “That was made above my level and I don’t have full visibility but here’s how we’re going to navigate it together.”
3. You invest in people rather than outcomes.
When you accept that it is not up to you whether someone gets promoted, how quickly they grow, or how long they stay, you stop worrying about guaranteeing results. Instead, you can focus your energy on creating the conditions for growth. This is not only more ethical; it is also more effective!
4. You help your team navigate organizational stress.
Teams take their emotional cues from their leader. When you’re anxious about something outside your control, it radiates. When you are able to stay calm and clear-headed, you give your team permission to do the same.
Your team doesn’t need you to be in control of everything. They just need you to be in control of yourself.
5. You model self-accountability.
When things go badly, it is tempting to place the blame on the organization, the conditions, the people above you. Sometimes, those factors are genuinely at play. But the leader who is clear about their own sphere of influence always asks: What was mine to own here? This builds self-accountability and, ultimately, trust.
Redirecting Your Focus Where It Matters
When you find yourself in situations that feel challenging or outside of your control, pause and ask yourself three questions:
What am I spending energy on that I cannot actually influence? Notice where you are holding tension around things you can’t change.
What is within my control that I haven’t acted on? The things you can do may feel smaller than the things you wish you could change. That doesn’t mean they are not going to make a difference.
How do I want to respond to what I can’t control? You don’t get to decide what comes at you. You do, however, have full choice over what kind of leader you are when it does.
If you and your team are navigating situations that feel uncertain and chaotic and want to get clearer on where your true power lies, let’s have a chat!
